10 ways to show a best friend that you care

1) Be prepared to listen- if a best friend needs you then you need to be prepared to listen to them and give them advice on what the problem is. You need to take the time to be there for your best friend- even if it’s just a 5 minute conversation offering them advice your friend will still appreciate you being there for them. 

2) Be prepared for the person to not want to tell you what’s wrong- if your best friend is hurting and they don’t want to talk to you then that’s ok. It’s their choice and you can’t force them to tell you anything,if they want to then they will. If they don’t all you need to say is if you need me then let me know and your friend will appreciate the gesture all the same.

3) Give them time to themselves- everyone needs their space and so does your best friend. If a friend asks you for some time then its important to give them that. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t your friend anymore- they probably just need time to think through some stuff.

4) Don’t be afraid to say what’s your mind-if a friend has upset you in anyway then you should tell them quickly so it doesn’t escalate and cause bigger problems later. If you do that then you can quickly sort out whatever it is that’s going on rather than waiting until a later date

5) Trust- if your friend tells you something then you should trust them, a friendship without trust isn’t worth having at all. It takes years to build up trust but only seconds to destroy it- trust that no matter the circumstance your friend is okay.

6) support-if a friend is making a big decision and they are confused about what to do let them know that you support them. That way they know that no matter what happens you have their back and it will ease the pressure of the decision slightly.

7) Be prepared to say nothing- if a friend is upset hold out your arms and hug them. Sometimes actions speak a thousands words and a hug will let your friend know that you are there for them, rather then just saying it- its important that you show it to.

8) Listen to a friends advice- a best friend is the person that knows you best in the whole world and the advice they give to you is 9/10 the best advice for you. Especially if they have been through whatever it is that your going through- they understand how your brain works so listen to what they are saying. This will show that you care about them

9) Stand up for them- if someone is pushing your friend about stand up to the person. Let them know that its not okay to treat your friend like that and show them that you aren’t prepared to tolerate any messing about. That way your friend knows that you are willing to take risks for them

10) Be nice to their boyfriend/girlfriend- if you don’t like who your friend is going out with then that’s ok, you don’t have to but its important that you be nice to them for your friends sake. Arguing with them will just make your friend unhappy and you could end up losing them so its important that you give the person the benefit of the doubt for your friends sake

Relationships: what I think

I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on romantic relationships but I want you all to know what I think. If I offend you at any point during this, this is just my opinion it’s not necessarily true.

First of all there’s couples who are famous and in the limelight, for example Nathan Sykes and Ariana Grande or Harry Styles and Taylor Swift. They receive a hell of a lot of attention from the press and from fans. They are given shipping names like Nariana or fans send death threats to band members girlfriends. I don’t really agree with this to be honest because shipping names objectify a couples relationship and make people believe that its their relationship rather than the people in the relationship itself. People should have a right to be together without being tagged with a couple name because they are people not something you can define for yourself, which is what I believe shipping names to be doing. Regardless whether or not a couple stay together they should not be labeled in such a public way.Between groups of friends I get but not to the whole world

Death threats.You do not under any circumstance have to like your favourite popstars new bf or gf but its just basic morality to stay out of someone’s relationship though regardless of how you feel about the person you like from a boyband or girlgroup. Think about it this way how do you think it makes the person you’re a fan of feel, it puts enormous amounts of strain on a relationship.How would you feel if someone tried to ruin your relationship? It isn’t fair to send death threats because at the end of the day your not in the relationship so you shouldn’t be the ones to damn it.Nobody should.

Two people could love each other in an instant and love each other more than two people who have been together for ages.You can tell how two people feel in a relationship just by looking at them both, you can see what their relationship is like. If someone doesn’t make you happy anymore why stay with them? If you do then it leads to cheating and going behind peoples backs and it will just lead to someone getting hurt.If it were me and I was with a guy and he cheated on me I’d rather him of left me when I couldn’t make him happy anymore rather than us staying together and him cheating on me.Would have saved a lot of hurt and a lot of time. I get that you don’t want to hurt someone by leaving them but if its for the best then its for the best and just leaving someone is a lot easier to come to terms with than cheating on somebody.

 

 

 

Music

So I decided to ask people I know why music is important to them to begin this blog.Thanks, Anam, Jack, Tara and Rob Here’s what they said.

you can live without music but its an escape form an art and it can show the true feelings of a person

It takes me away to a whole other world.

Music is important to me because it can change the way I feel because when I’ve got so many problems all I need is some music and it can make me feel like I’m not alone because there are others who feel my pain. It can lift the way I think and diminish my problems into smoke of nothingness. Music makes me feel alive I guess as cliche as it sounds it does. x

It’s hard to describe because music is life. 

 

Well to me music is the key to the soul. There’s a song for every mood your in. If I’m in a happy dancing crazy around the house mood then I like a bit of one direction or the wanted but then if I’m down and just want to shut the world out I like the smiths and ed sheeran. I guess you can say I enjoy the whole spectrum of music rather than just one genre. I don’t think I could pin point myself to being just one type of thing because there’s many different sides to my personality and my taste in music definitely proves that more than anything else. I know a lot of people who only like one type of music and there’s nothing wrong with that. You like what you like. I won’t judge someone for the type of music somebody likes. Everyone is different and even if you don’t agree with the taste in music a person has why try to change who they are? 

On the other hand,I have no problem with people getting they’re friends into a band or an artist. One of my best friends in the world got me into one direction. It’s good to try to get your friends into a band or a singer because it’s good to share that with a friend, it will give you a deeper connection and will give you more to talk about. It’s nice to be at a concert with a friend watching a band/artist that you both love because you can create more wonderful memories together because a great friend of mine wrote in my leavers book at the end of year 11 ‘the music we both like solidifies our friendship’. Seriously without the heavy influence of music in that particular friendship I don’t think we’d be as close as we are. Even though he doesn’t like them any more when he got me into one direction I felt honoured that he gave me something that was so special to him at that time, I was so privileged that he wanted to share a band with him that he loved so much. The word ‘solidifies’ really stands out to me in that sentence because I knew after reading that sentence that our friendship would last a long time because the music that we both like would never go away. 

Have you ever looked back through the best memories of your life and thought about how many of them were to do with music.Some of my best memories involve music for example, dancing on a table at my grans house with my uncle singing year 3000, quoting the wanted to my friend over facebook, dancing to the wanted at prom, concerts, parties, friendly debates about music,sitting on the school field in the summer singing random songs. Music is a beautiful thing which can create even more beautiful things, memories that last a life time. Music connects us to the past and to the future simultaneously, not many things in the world can do that can they? Be there for us from when we’re young to when we’re old and grey. A love for music is one thing that we will never ever lose, it will be there for us till the very end.

 

 

Trusting the world around you

Trusting what’s going on around you can be hard but if you don’t trust people, trust what they choose to do or ultimately not trust yourself then you’ll never get anywhere in life. You’ll spend your whole life worrying about things that can go wrong you’ll never actually live your life. Sometimes you have to take risks because they could lead to something great but equally they might not work out but if if it doesn’t all you have to do is stay calm and try the best you can to move on from it. It’s so easy to get frustrated at yourself because you get so easily paranoid but the source of your paranoia comes from you, you could be the one to end it to. Getting over paranoia is about trusting essentially, if you’re worried that you’re friend is mad at you you just have trust the fact that if they are they’ll tell you just like if there is something wrong with them you have to trust the fact that they will come to you and talk about it. By no means am I suggesting that if you get paranoid that you don’t trust people, it’s just about remembering how good your friends are and how easy they are to trust. It’s easy to think that the world is against you but it’s not, those thoughts stem from you all you have to do to get rid of them is to remain calm.

How to trust the world around you

Start taking more risks and taking chances- if you see a cute boy/girl and want to talk to them, go you never know what could happen, yet then again nothing can happen, its all about finding that courage to take the chance and see because later on in life you could regret taking those chances and its better to remember all the things you did rather than worrying about what you didn’t do.

Stop worrying-worries are okay from time to time but you shouldn’t be worrying all the time because then you won’t truly be alive, you will be making do. Looking at life from the backseat won’t get you anywhere in life, you should be the one to drive the car and decide the destination, nobody can chose the direction you go in, only you can do that. Life isn’t about the destination it’s about the journey, you can make life whatever you want, you just have to try. If you worry in life then you’ll be missing out on some amazing things.

 

My little thank you

This is dedicated to my best friend, without whom I’d be lost, to be honest a hell of a lot of people would be lost without him. He’s always there to make you laugh when you need a laugh to cheer you up, but he’s always there to give you a good kick up the arse when you need putting in check. There’s no lying or deceiving when it comes to him, he gives you the brutal god’s honest truth and sometimes it’s hard to hear but he doesn’t bother telling you what you WANT to hear only what you NEED to hear. Like today for instance, I was finding it so difficult to make a HUGE decision because I’m terrible at making choices but he told me what I needed to hear and it was hard for me to decide but I got there, because of his love and support. There’s no beating around the bush with him, it’s straight to the point, it helps keep me on track and helps keep my head above water. There have been times in my life when I could have plummeted into water but he helped me stay strong and kept me fighting. A few months back I did some stupid things I regret and he’s the sort of friend I could confide in and tell him what I was going through and even when he gets a little angry at some of the stupid shit I do I know he only gets angry because he doesn’t want me getting hurt because he cares.

He’s one of the few people that can make me smile. He’s so random and makes sexual innuendos a lot but when I’m crying and I need a shoulder to cry on he’s always there to crack a joke and to get me back to my normal self. He encourages me to see things positively and to try and make the world my ouster. I know that as long as I have him he’ll always push me to be happy and to stop worrying about everything and to just live. He inspires me to try new things, to fight for my dreams. He’s the one who explains the sexual innuendos that I never get (fish and pear necklace), thanks for that, he can turn any little word i say into a sex joke and i love that, it makes me smile.

Through everything you are there for me, no matter how silly an argument I’m in no matter how hard I find comprehending things, I’m sure if I ever change my mind you’ll support me and you’ll allow me to make my own choice, no matter how stupid or reckless it may be. I know that I will always be able to count on you. I hope all his dreams come true and that he finds the man of his dreams, someone who will look after him the way he deserves, someone who will support him and take him to special places and be proud that he has a boyfriend like him.

So that was my little thank you. 

 

virtually unanswerable questions

What does being happy mean?
Being happy is a complicated question.How do you measure happiness? I’ll tell you what I think being happy is, happiness is the state of feeling free and at home with yourself when not a worry crosses your mind. I think if even the slightest worry crosses your mind then you’re not in a state of happiness, because to be truly happy you have to live in the moment and free yourself of all the pain. You can think that being like everyone else is being happy but it’s not, that’s conforming to others happiness, it’s okay to bend and shape the world around you to be happy. Ultimately I think being happy is the ultimate goal of everyone and can be seen as a type of hope. Happiness is hard to achieve but through hope and hard work you can get there

What is love?
I don’t think love is a feeling as such, but more of an action. You can’t really tell how people feel through what they say but you can tell how they feel through what they do.Love is a feeling essentially but its how you act that will develop the love. I think love is so hard to define because its different for everyone, you could experience love and never even see it there because you’ve got your eyes on the wrong thing for you, you can see love everywhere but never see it when it’s right in front of you. Love is what you make it, it’s not a fairy tale, it’s hard and I think if you go into something knowing it could be hard, knowing people could hate you, knowing your putting everything on the line, risking everything then you have a shot at true love. If it’s easy then its not love.

How do you know if you’re making the right choice?
some say that you just will, that you will feel what’s the right thing to do, but others will say you could do what you think is right but things could go horribly wrong. My answer to this question is I think when making the choice is you won’t know if you’re making the right choice, all you can do is hope that you are making the right choice and if you haven’t then it’s how you deal with the outcome that makes you who you are and will allow to learn from the situation.

Is there an afterlife?
Some say yes, others say no. All we can do to decide whether or not we believe in the after life or not. Another question can be raised at this point, How do you know what to believe? Look at the world around around you, take into account how you see things, what goes on around you and then take your time to come up with a conclusion. If you still have no clue what to believe then that’s okay too. Not knowing something doesn’t mean you’re stupid.

What is the meaning of life?
The meaning of life? The meaning of life is the hardest question but I’ve got an idea, life is never simple, I think the meaning of life is to love when you can, keeping trying at something you find difficult, look out for the people around you and provide for yourself as much as you can. You don’t know how long you’ve got, so I think you should live everyday as if it were your last second on earth, is to treat life as a gift and to learn from your mistakes because life is short, it’d not going to last forever but I think the meaning of life is to put your stamp on the world so the memories can live on.

An end to paranoia?

I’ve spent so much time worrying about my life that I’ve stopped living. What kind of life is that? It’s not; that’s the point. Total cliche but life’s about living for the now, living in the moment, taking risks. Life’s about taking chances, doing the unexpected, pushing the boundaries. You don’t have to live in fear of the future, if you fear to fail then you’ll never succeed in life, you won’t achieve what you want to do. Everyone’s going to fail in life, there’s nobody out there that’s perfect, it’s how we deal with failure that makes you who YOU are. Be proud of who you are, don’t try to be anybody that your not. Your never going to be someone else you can only ever be you.  And who you are is pretty great. Yes we all have things we don’t like about ourselves but we need to accept who we are as people and allow ourselves space to live. 

Scared people won’t like you? you don’t need to be scared, not everybody in life is going to fall in love with you but it’s about appreciating what you have and staying positive because there are people out there who love you to bits. They like you for exactly who you are so you don’t need to be anything but yourself. Don’t run around trying to get people who don’t like you to try and like you because they probably won’t change their minds any time soon and you don’t need fake friends you already have some pretty awesome friends by your side.

 Afraid to make simple decisions without consulting a friend? Don’t be, The most important decisions in life are never going to be a piece of cake,that’s why it has to come from you. Your friends not the one who’s going to be living with the consequence of the action you are.It’s also not fair to pin decisions down on friends, they have lives of their own and decisions they need to make too. Don’t add unneeded pressure to them. By all means ask advice but make the decision yourself.

Can be self involved? take the time to ask someone how their day was, if they’ve had a bad day don’t be all me me me, give them some space to think, don’t bombard them with your problems, it will only push them away. At the same time you can’t detach yourself from people and push them out. It’s all about finding that perfect balance and trying to be the best person that you can be. Don’t worry if you slip up now and then we all do it. 

 

Scared to make an effort? Can you see a repetition here, scared, fear… There’s no point in living in fear because that’s not a life at all, that’s just making do. If you don’t like something change it. Only you have the power to change things that you don’t like and yes people will tell you things you don’t WANT to hear but they’ll tell you things you NEED to hear. Yes, it can hurt but it will give you the kick to take a look at where your life’ heading and then you know that enough is enough.

Hopefully this is a new start and an end to paranoia?

New Years Resolutions

h20justaddme

Its new years eve and in 12 hours it will be a new year. So i think the time has come to make my new years resolutions.

 

1) take more risks-live in the moment and start enjoying being 16/17 while i can because i won’t be forever. I need to enjoy being young and just let go every now and then. I need to stop being scared of everything and take more risks because you can find risks anywhere if you look hard enough and its how we cope with the consequences that make us who we are. 2) i need to stop saying sorry- sorry is a good word but its not needed every 5 minutes, it should be used when appropriate and meant like its the last words you could say to someone 3) stop crying so much- learn to control my emotions, deal with things better…

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New Years Resolutions

Its new years eve and in 12 hours it will be a new year. So i think the time has come to make my new years resolutions.

 

1) take more risks-live in the moment and start enjoying being 16/17 while i can because i won’t be forever. I need to enjoy being young and just let go every now and then. I need to stop being scared of everything and take more risks because you can find risks anywhere if you look hard enough and its how we cope with the consequences that make us who we are. 2) i need to stop saying sorry- sorry is a good word but its not needed every 5 minutes, it should be used when appropriate and meant like its the last words you could say to someone 3) stop crying so much- learn to control my emotions, deal with things better and give people the chance to grow on their own, give people space to be their own person 4)be honest-tell people what i think even when ira hard because you can never run away from something that’s upsetting you 5)read books that aren’t fantasy-expand my vocabulary and help me grow as a person 6) write more stories-if i want to write i need to write my ideas down and let them take form 7))spend 2 hours a day working on my college work- i need to get the best possible grades and i cant do that through slacking 8) watch a wider range of films- expand my culture and develop my appreciation to art 9)stop living in the past-stop worrying about what has been and start loving life, start socialising more,yesterdays history but todays a brand new day 10) make my own decisions- i can’t grow as a person if i let others make my mind up for me, i need to make my own choices and make my life mine 11) stop asking questions- converse with more people and make sure i don’t spend everyday talking to people, that’s how people get bored,especially asking the same questions

Stamping out bullying.

There are many people out there with a physical or mental disability. I have a physical disability, hemiplegia. When I tell most people that I have hemiplegia they don’t really know what it is. It basically just means that my right side of my body doesn’t work as well my left, which means I can’t do a lot of things most people find easy or it takes me a lot longer to learn than it should. For example last year in  school, during my friend taught me how to tie my shoe laces. He also has to cut up my food because I can’t do that properly, sometimes I get the odd funny look, the odd comment about it which is a bit snide and sometimes it can really hurt me.It can feel like there’s something wrong with me, that I’m not good enough;worthless almost. It shouldn’t do, if you have a physical or mental disability or if people just generally make you feel like this then it’s not you with the problem its them. You’re beautiful, exactly the way you are and if somebody laughs at you for that then their not worth your tears. You’re so much better than them. I know when they get you down you’ll never believe this but hold your head up high and just ignore it the best you can. You don’t have to listen to their mean comments.

My friend taught me something, something that’s help me get by when people are mean or nasty to me. He said ‘ You have to be stronger than them’. If you’re stronger than them then nothing will ever touch you, nothing they say will effect you any more. Being different isn’t something you should shy away from, it should be celebrated. Regardless of the fact of who you are or your dreams in life you should celebrate with pride who you are. Whether you have a disability,no matter what your sexual orientation is, no matter how you chose to dress. These differences are  what makes you you. There’s only one you too, you will never be replaced. Many young people today self harm and even try to kill themselves due to bullying. If you’re the one who is doing the bullying think about how you’d feel if it was you who was being told it’s not okay to be you. Not everyone’s going to be like you, so the sooner you realise that the better. 

Self harm and suicide is becoming more and more common in teenagers due to bullying. It gets so bad for someone they feel like they have no other way out. I know me telling you stop won’t help at all, if you want the pain the stop then you’re going to carry on regardless. Think about this though, look at all your friends and family. Think about how much they care about you and love you. I know it’s not easy but you should talk to someone. The people who understand you more than anything are the one’s who are going to know how to get you through this. They may be upset at first but that’s only because they care about you so much and they don’t want to see you get hurt.

So this was me, stamping out bullying, but I can’t do it alone but YOU can! If you see someone being bullied help them,convince them to talk to someone. If you’re the bully put yourself in the victims shoes, you never know what it’s like behind closed doors. Anything could be happening.

You. Are. Not. Alone.

You can talk to a lot of people about bullying and they can help you get through it xxxx.

Stamp out bulling;today.